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Recharge Resolutions With New Thoughts
by Gunner Jackson,posted Jan 4 2010 9:36AM
Lose weight, get out of debt, spend more time with family and friends and improve marriages or relationships. Those are just a few of the top resolutions made by people all across America before New Yearâ€™s Day.
2009: New Year, New You
After making a resolution, many people lose a bit of enthusiasm and motivation, but there are a few tips that can get you right back on track when it comes to improving your life.
Revisit Weight-Loss Goals
If your resolution was to lose weight, Paige Waehner, a personal trainer, says the first step is to admit to your mistake.
"Give yourself permission to ease back into your routine. Choose activities you like and set goals you know you can reach," she says.
Waehner adds that the workout should be enjoyable.
"We often dread working out if weâ€™ve taken a long break, so plan something you can look forward to," Waehner says. "If itâ€™s too hard or too much, you may keep avoiding it."
Waehner also says to give yourself incentives, such as a massage, a soak in the hot tub or a relaxing evening.
With all that in mind, she says that it remains crucial to "remind yourself of your goals and the fact that everyone gets off track from time to time."
She says some people are more consistent when they focus on the habit of exercise rather than results.
She also suggests that you pack your gym bag or get out your workout clothes the night before. If you make sure you have everything you need -- water bottle, heart rate monitor, snacks -- ahead of time and plan out what youâ€™ll do at the gym, you're more likely to get it done. You should also focus on the other benefits of workouts to keep up motivation. Are you sleeping better, feeling good about yourself and increasing your energy? hose things alone make exercise worth it.
If you're not exercising or skipping more workouts than you're doing, setting smaller goals may make exercise more manageable.
"We can't always control what happens to throw us off track, but we can control how we respond and get back to it."
You and you alone to blame when failing with exercise or weight loss, but matters of the heart are a bit different.
Michele Weiner-Davis, author of Divorce Busting, says people often think both parties have to participate.
If you have not been able to get your mate onboard with you, do not worry.
"If your spouse won't do it, do it yourself," says Weiner-Davis. "I teach the concept, 'It takes one to tango,' meaning that one person can affect relationship change single-handedly. Don't put off setting goals because your spouse is being a stick in the mud. Just do it yourself."
If you still want to try to get a spouse on board, make sure the request has the appropriate tone.
"Start by suggesting, instead of complaining, (nagging) and moaning, that you want to do something proactive about the marriage," she says. "You want to identify what you want to do differently starting tomorrow."
Another tip to help with relationship resolutions is to rate the relationship on a scale from 1 to 10.
"So, if you're at a 2 or 3, ask yourself, 'What do we need to do in order to move up half a notch, to a 3Â½, for example,'" she says. "Be specific and concrete, action-oriented. Then also ask yourself, 'Where on that scale would we need to be in order to feel satisfied, given that things are never perfect?' "
Weiner-Davis says to implement different behavior immediately to improve the relationship.
"We aren't born knowing how to be good partners," she says. "We have to learn that. If we didn't have good role models, we don't know how to do it. However, the good news is that you can learn how to have more loving relationships."